~piwkasumi

summer holidays have been there for a week and they'll last the next 4 1/2 weeks.
And I DO NOT ENJOY MY SUMMER HOLIDAY.
Last Year's Holiday seems so far away. Like it has never has happened.
Last Year my feelings were clear and true and this year it's all some misty soup or so.
Some other things seem very far away, too. Things that just happened two months before.
I'd like to go back and make some things better:
1st: Don't get onto his nerves like I did last year.
2nd: Tell him my feelings from the beginning by MYSELF.
3rd: Go on camping with class. I knew that it was fun.

I told everybody that I stopped loving him and I felt that way when I said so... but I don't know if it's for real.
I'm totally confused and I'd like to tell him anyways but I don't want to get on to his nerves and I don't wanna confuse him.

Also I do have this feeling of complete emptiness in my whole body and soul.
I don't wanna die because I already feel like I'm dead, so it wouldn't matter if I was.
and I don't think that there's one person out there who really cares about me (except for my parents who don't know anything about the way I feel).
All the people from who I thought they did, don't care a f*** 'bout me.